Category Archives: Miscellaneous

Adoption Laws in AZ

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Note: My comments are in red.

access to adoption records

Obtaining Non-Identifying Information:Non-identifying information (Remember non-identifying is the operative word in this sentence) is available to adoptive parents or a child’s guardian, adopted adults age 18 or older, an adopted adult’s spouse, birthparents, birth siblings, and-if an adopted adult is deceased-his or her adult children (age 18 or older).

 
Note the ad. If you google anything about adoption, there is often  a link you can click on to give a baby away. I find it especially pernicious, that girl or woman googling ‘birthmother’ in an effort to find insight, support, a lifeline will almost always find the first listings on the Google search page to be primers for how to give up her baby.

Obtaining Identifying Information:

An adopted adult age 21 or older or a birth parent can provide a notarized statement granting consent or withholding consent to the release of information. If consent is given, then the information will be given to the requesting party. This is actually pretty straightforward. If both parties–adoptee and birthparent understand the system and provide the notarized statements, they should be able to find one another! Any party may try to obtain identifying information by petitioning the court for compelling need.

Using a Confidential Intermediary:

The following parties may use the services of a confidential intermediary:

  • birth siblings age 21 or older;
  • adoptive parents or legal guardians of adopted adults age 18 or older;
  • adopted adults age 21 or older;
  • the immediate, adult relatives (age 21 or older) of a deceased adopted adult;
  • birth parents; or
  • birth grandparents if birth parents are deceased.
  • Wow–that’s a pretty inclusive list.

A confidential intermediary must obtain written consent from both parties before releasing information. Adoptive parents may file an affidavit that prohibits the confidential intermediary from contacting the adopted adult unless the adoptive parents remove the affidavit or the adopted adult files an affidavit stating that he or she knows he or she is adopted and wishes to make contact with the birth parents. Holy shit–no matter how old the adoptee is? Birth parents can file an affidavit prohibiting contact with birth siblings.

Contact:

Arizona Confidential Intermediary Program
Arizona Supreme Court
Attn: Torin Scott
1501 W. Washington
Phoenix AZ 85007
(602) 542-9586 or (602) 542-9580
cip@supreme.sp.state.az.us
http://www.supreme.state.az.us/cip/

Providing Information:

Supplemental information may be placed in the file by any of the following parties: birth parents, adopted adult, adoptive parents, or family of the adopted adult. This is cool–so for example, let’s say you had some compelling reason against reunion (rare)–you could still add current medical information to the file.

Obtaining an Original Birth Certificate:

An adoptee must petition the court in which the adoption was finalized.

Contact: The Arizona Supreme Court

Adoption Search and Chance

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Finding a sibling

Adoption search and chance can be good partners. Sometimes it takes a little luck to find the person you’re looking for. Sometimes it takes a lot of luck. Or in some cases, people aren’t really searching at all, but chance plays a role in revealing a sibling or a birthparent.

The world is full of adoptees and birthmothers, some reunited and many still unknown to one another. There are siblings out there, too. So many siblings. Some of whom dream of having a brother or a sister and don’t know that they already have one. And maybe that person they’re wishing for has the same brown eyes or the same dimple. Or a similar set of freckles, or loves the same kind of chocolate ,or drives the same car. I’ve seen statistics that say there are somewhere between two million and six million birthmothers alive today in the U.S. Probably no one knows how many are reunited with their children. If you consider the siblings that have been separated by adoption, there are millions of people out there looking for each other.

 

Finding my son

I dreamed of finding my son by chance almost from the moment I let him go. And although, coincidence has salted a pretty healthy dash of “you must be kidding” to our story, I don’t think we would have ever found one another if I hadn’t searched for him. Searching for my son, due to the sealed records in the state of Iowa, was a frustrating and useless venture. But Chance was there all the same waiting in the form of a person who’d happened to hear of a person, who knew of a person who could help. I have no idea who that person was. If it was a man or a woman, an adoptee or a birthparent, maybe even an adoptive Parent. but if I had to give the person a name, I’d call him/her Mr. or Ms. Chance.

Knowing vs. Not Knowing

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Opinion in the NY Times

Knowing vs. not knowing. This is the central conflict in an adoptee’s search for their original identity.  Regarding that question, this was an interesting piece in the NY Times the other day.

My response

Here’s my response. It  did not get published.
I try frequently to step into the shoes of an adopted person. I’ve been trying these shoes on for size ever since I was a pregnant 16-year-old in a small Catholic town in 1970. I knew that my only respectable recourse was to keep my pregnancy a secret and give my son up for adoption. Like Ellen Ullman’s records, my son’s adoption file was sealed, too. His original birth certificate, which bore the standard particulars of birth along with my name and his name listed only as “Baby Boy MacDonald” contained information that I was already well aware of.  Yet, I was not allowed to have a copy. Once I relinquished custody of my son, knowing anything at all about him was no longer an option.

My son, whom I reunited with when he was 21, says that being adopted is like being in the witness protection program. But without the medical information. While Ullman is certainly entitled to tell herself any story she likes about her origins, I object to her passive glossing over of the disservice that sealed records inflict on both adoptees and birth parents.

Yes, it is true there are many ways to conceive and carry a child these days. But it seems a shame to let the intricacies of that conversation obscure the totalitarian approach state governments take toward adoption records. And I suspect that Ullman herself, having made the phone call regarding her adoption file, might someday like to fill out a form in her doctor’s office without drawing a slash through the medical history section and marking it “unknown.”
Her essay betrays a longing for other things, too. I sincerely wish the power to discover those things resided in her hands and not with the state of New York.
I’m willing to give not-knowing its due. I’m fine with not knowing whether or not my son’s five-year-old daughter whose baptismal picture looks just like my own will turn out to resemble me or share my talents.  But I could never be fine with not knowing my granddaughter  existed at all.

Adoption Law in Minnesota

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I’m in Minnesota now. Wherever my travels take me, I note what the adoption laws are. This may be redundant, but why stop now?

Please note: My comments are in red.

access to adoption records

Obtaining Non-Identifying Information:

Adoptive parents and adopted adults (age 19) may obtain non-identifying information. Nothing new here.

Obtaining Identifying Information:

Identifying information is provided on the original birth certificate, which is released according to the provisions below. 

Obtaining an Original Birth Certificate:

An adopted adult can request a copy of the original birth certificate. At this time the Commissioner of Human Services will attempt to locate the birth parents to obtain consent to release the original birth certificate. If each birth parent is located and consents are given, the original birth certificate will be released. I’m noting the use of the plural here. On my son’s birth certificate, I asked that the father be listed as “unknown” as a means of keeping secret my boyfriend’s identity.  We never told his parents and it was my way of protecting him. If there is no reply or contact with the birth parents, for adopted adults adopted before August 1, 1977, (so these people would be 32 years old now) the adopted adult must petition the court for release of the original birth certificate. If the adoption was finalized on or after August 1, 1977, then the original birth certificate will be released to the adopted adult if the birth parents have not filed an access veto. Once again, when was the access veto filed and do they know how to rescind it if they want to?

 
And here’s another aspect of adoption law:
Under Minnesota law, a woman who gives birth to a child has “parental rights” to the child. These include the right to have the child live with you, to raise the child, and to make decisions about the child’s upbringing, including the right to decide to place the child for adoption.

If a birth mother wants to place the child for adoption, she signs a consent to adoption form. Once a birth mother signs a proper consent to an adoption, the law requires that the mother be given ten working days for her to change her mind. After the ten days are up, the consent may not be revoked by the mother unless the court finds that the mother’s consent was obtained through fraud.

Ten days.

Adoption Laws in Nebraska

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Adoption laws in Nebraska are not substantially different from adoption laws in Arizona or Hawaii. Yes, I travel. A lot. Right now I’m in Nebraska where I was hoping I’d find snowy walks in the woods under brittle skies. Instead, everything is a shade of brown or gray. So while I’m waiting for my grad school seminar to start, I’d rather be inside than outside so I’m googling again.
Here’s what I’ve got on accessing adoption records here in the heartland.  Again, the comments in red are mine.

access to adoption records

Obtaining Non-Identifying Information:

Adoptive parents at the time of placement and adopted adults can receive medical information. This is pretty much the same situation as Hawaii. The medical information is gathered at the time of the birth/ placement. Who is updating the medical information that Nebraska authorities deem adult adoptees can receive? Let’s say you’re an adult adoptee of 25 or so. And you want to start your own family and would like a heads up on possible genetic conditions. Twenty-five-year-old information won’t present an accurate picture. It probably won’t even come close.
Obtaining Identifying Information: See below. Birth parents may file a consent or non-consent form with the State social services department regarding their information. And again, do birthparents know how to update that information? Is there an administrative fee? The adoption agency I used charged me $25.00 for the non-identifying information they gave me.
 
Obtaining an Original Birth Certificate:
As a preface, let me say that withholding original birth certificates from birthmothers is unnecessary. There is nothing on the birth certificate that they wouldn’t already know. Refusal to let a woman have the certificate of birth for her child can be construed only as an act of intimidation.
Adults who were adopted on or after September 1,1988…(so, you have to be older in Nebraska than you do in Hawaii. These age limits are all so random.)….can receive a copy of the original birth certificate, medical records on file, and information about agency assistance in searching, unless a birth parent has filed a non-consent form. Adults who were adopted before September 1, 1988, upon written request to the court, can receive identifying information and a copy of the original birth certificate if both birth parents have consented. 

The Law

– Nebraska Revised Statute 43-113 et. seq.
An adopted person 25 years of age or older may request access to the names of relatives or the original birth certificate. 

Upon receipt of such a request, the bureau shall look for consent and non-consent (veto) forms.

If a birth parent consent is on file, and there is no veto filed by the adoptive parents…. The adoptive parents have veto power over a 25-yr.-old?  A 30-yr-old?  A 40- yr-old? ….the bureau shall release identifying information to the adoptee. 

If no birth parent consent is on file, and if no adoptive parent veto filed, the adoptee will be given the name and address of the court which issued the adoption decree, the name of the agency involved if any, and the fact that an agency may assist the adoptee in searching for relatives.

If the birth parent(s) is/are deceased, and there is no adoptive parent or birth parent veto on file, identifying information shall be released. Yup, that’s right.  If they’re dead, the state will help you find your birthparents.  The makings of a tragedy right there in the Nebraska adoption statutes.

If birth parent consent(s) has been filed, and there is no adoptive parent veto, the original birth certificate shall be given to the adoptee. Still…gotta have permission from your adoptive parents.

If there is no birth parent consent on file, and no adoptive parent veto, the adoptee may ask the agency to undertake a search to seek such consent. Costs shall be borne by the adoptee, irrespective of the outcome. How about a little more heartache?

Medical history information contained in agency files shall be provided to an adoptee upon request, with names and place of birth redacted.

 
I’ve been reunited with my son for 17 years. He has two sisters he might never have known, thanks to the restrictive adoption laws in the state of Iowa. I’m happy to say they have had him in their lives as long as they can remember. And we are all better for it.

Adoption Laws in Hawaii

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I’m in Hawaii right now, sitting in my hotel bed, thinking and googling (which sometimes go very nicely together.)

Here’s how it is if you are an adoptee in the state of Hawaii: The comments in red are mine.

access to adoption records

Obtaining Non-Identifying Information:

Adoptive parents and adopted adults may receive ethnic and medical history.  Keep in mind that the medical history they are most likely referring to is the information they gathered from the birthparents at the time of the birth.  A lot of medical stuff develops later in life.


Obtaining Identifying Information:
For adoptions finalized before January 1, 1991, so these adoptees would be 18 or older adopted adults or adoptive parents must petition the court for information. The court will send a notice to the last known address of the birth parents. If no response is received, the adopted adult can access his or her information.This is good news for the adoptee, I guess.  But it leaves the birthmother out of the loop unless she hasn’t moved since the adoption. For adoptions finalized after December 31, 1990, the adopted adult or adoptive parents can receive information if there is no affidavit on file requesting confidentiality. A young birthmother who is facing the shame of an unplanned pregnacny or who has kept her pregnancy a secret from key people in her life is likely, I think, to request an affidavit of confidentiality.  My question:  What happens a few years down the road when she’s found she can’t forget her baby, move on, etc. etc.  Does she have information on how to undo the affidavit? 

Using the Adoption Registry:

Adopted adults and birth parents may register. 

Contact:

Family Court Registry
Court Management Services
777 Punchbowl Street
Honolulu, HI 96811


Obtaining an Original Birth Certificate: 
An adoptee must petition the court in which the adoption was finalized.
There are situations I can imagine where the adoptee might not know this.

Family love

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Family love is the glue

I’ve been thinking a lot about the concept of family. It takes effort and grace to keep a family in tact. And of course, it takes love. Love is the glue. My first experience at creating a family was a failure before it began.

It was 21 years until I saw my first-born child. There were 20 Christmases, 20 Thanksgivings and  20 birthdays before I knew my son’s name or where he lived.  Our reunion reverberated through his adoptive family and through my own family. By the time I met my son, I had  a husband, and also two little girls who were surprised to learn they had an older brother. Yet somehow, we blended ourselves into a new family. I thought that family would last forever.

Or how about cement?

All of my children are adults now. We are living in the aftermath of my divorce from my daughters’ father. Now  I’m thinking about the individuals that make up a family as bricks and stones that need regular shoring up to keep the walls from falling down. Each brick and stone needs a regular inspection. Some polishing, perhaps. And maybe love should be more like cement than glue. This year my husband is not in the picture. Our marriage is a pile of rubble. I am picking up the pieces of what remains of our family. That means I will be traveling. This holiday season I will cross both a desert and an ocean with my youngest child in order to visit her siblings. Every mile will be worth it.

Birthmothers and lost children

As I lay on the couch at my son’s house with my oldest grandchild, the two of us singing Christmas carols in the dark beside the lighted Christmas tree, I noticed how our voices blended together. For just a moment in the midst of that joy of family love, I thought about the birthmothers who are still separated from their children. If they don’t know their children, they may have grandchildren who are also lost to them.

Uber Amazing Blog Award

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.[uberamazingblogaward.jpg]
My friend Elizabeth, http://elizabethaquino.blogspot.com/ recently got the Uber Amazing Blog award and has now nominated my blog. So now, I’m  going to nominate some of my favorite blogs (besides Elizabeth’s.)  They are:
Now, these bloggers need to do the following:

1. Put the logo (award image) on your blog or in a post.
2. Nominate 5 (or 6) blogs that you feel are Uber Amazing.
3. Let them know that they have received the Uber Amazing Blog Award by commenting on their blog.
4. Link to the person who gave you the award (which would be me, of course).