Google “Birthmother.” Go ahead. Try it . You might as well Google ” How do I relinquish my baby?” Most of the links go to sites whose primary focus is adoption.
The site called Birthmom Buds is especially unnerving. Founded by two birthmothers, they offer mentoring by birthmothers who have relinquished. But not by anyone who decided ultimately to raise their child.
Here’s an excerpt: “although you may be making an adoption plan, you are not actually a birthmom, until you sign relinquishment papers. Until then, you are simply an expectant mother preparing for her child’s future! Our biggest piece of advice to you is to research both the options of parenting and adoption. You truly can not make an informed decision unless you have educated yourself on both options. Take this time to explore both of those options and then make a final decision!”
There are all kinds of subtle and not so subtle messages on this site that point towards giving up the baby.
And here’s the rundown on a few more:
Birthmother.org is geared toward adoption, too. And BirthmothersUnite has a vibe that is part religious and part Hallmark card. Though to give them their due, they do seem to understand the drive for search and reunion. AdoptionOpen purports to offer birthmother support, but they are also promoting adoption. BirthmotherResources was created by an adoption agency.
I’d like to see some real birthmother presence on the web if you google birthmother. But I’m guessing all the possible domain names have been purchased by adoption agencies. Should that be legal? What if you Googled Democratic candidate for the Presidency and your screen lit up with Republicans?! What if you Googled vacation in Paris, and you could only see information about Rome?
I think I’ll call this website “How to adopt a baby.”
Unfortunately, agencies and organizations supported by lobbying dollars, etc have purchased virtually all domain names with the word “birthmother” in it. It is intentional. That makes it all the more difficult for expectant mothers to get all of the information they need to make an informed decision.