Family traditions are important. Ritual and rhythm in the life of a family are good things. The same vacation spot every spring. The Christmas candles on the mantle. The turkey centerpiece. But it’s harder to establish traditions in a family separated by adoption even after there’s been a solid reunion. An adoptee in reunion can be going in a lot of directions.
There’s a lot on the calendar already if you’re a 21-year-old. Ditto, if you’re a birthmother with other children, and a husband, and in-laws, and a big extended family. And as everyone gets older more complications (albeit mostly happy ones) spread through our calendars like kudzu. Nineteen years post reunion my son has his own family. My other children are grown with mates of their own.
Then a new complication! Three years ago my husband left me for another woman, and what was left of our shifting sense of family rhythm veered completely out of sync. So now my daughters have a new brother and a new household to visit.
This 4th of July (cue the big sunburst-like golden fireworks) my son and his family came to spend the holiday with me for the 2nd year in a row. The same park, the same blankets in the same spot.
It made me insanely happy.