Category Archives: the internet vis a vis birthmothers

Through the Rabbit Hole

I’ve been lurking around over at Birth Mother, First Mother Forum.  Their blog has 117 followers (I’m one of them) and I have been clicking on each little picture wondering who all of these women are and what their stories are. If there is a link on the profile, I click on it and read a bit of their blog, and then I look at their followers and I click on those little pictures and see if they have blogs and who their followers are and then……

Are you following me–I mean this journey through a cyberspace rabbit hole where there are birthmothers around every turn?

One thing I’ve noticed is this: Many of the followers and the followers of the followers, etc. do not have blogs of their own, so I don’t know for sure if they are are birthmothers or not, but I bet they are. Or adoptees. There are quite a few adoptees who follow Birth Mother First, First Mother Forum, too.

There are so many of us. So many birthmothers. So many adoptees.
And now I’m hooked. Every day, I’m going to click on a couple more pictures.

What You Get When You Google “Birthmother”

I find the list troubling.  Most of the links go to sites whose primary focus is adoption.  The site called Birthmom Buds is especially unnerving.  Founded by two birthmothers, they offer mentoring by birthmothers who have relinquished.  If they are as unbiased as they say

(“although you may be making an adoption plan, you are not actually a birthmom, until you sign relinquishment papers. Until then, you are simply an expectant mother preparing for her child’s future! Our biggest piece of advice to you is to research both the options of parenting and adoption. You truly can not make an informed decision unless you have educated yourself on both options. Take this time to explore both of those options and then make a final decision!” ) 
maybe they should offer mentoring by women who decided not to relinquish.   There are all kinds of subtle and not so subtle messages on this sight that point towards giving up the baby. is geared toward adoption, too and BirthmothersUnite has a vibe that is part religious and part Hallmark card, though to give them their due, they do seem to understand the drive for search and reunion.
AdoptionOpen purports to offer birthmother support, but they are also promoting adoption. BirthmotherResources was created by an adoption agency.
I’d like to see some real birthmother presence on the web.  But I’m guessing all the possible  domain names have been purchased by adoption agencies.
I’m going to work on creating a list of blogs.