Senior Citizen Birthmother

IMG_2338

Senior Citizen Birthmother might seem like a contradiction in terms, but as the linked article points out, women who lost children during the Baby Scoop Era from 1945-1975 are now senior citizens.

I am senior citizen. I am a birthmother. But I am a birthmother, reunited with her child.

I imagine this meeting will probably draw mostly birthmothers (and maybe some birthfathers) who are not reunited.

Senior Citizen Birthmother!  At this weird intersection of respect and disdain, is a parking lot paved with grief. Imagine it. You gave your child up for adoption 40 or 50 or 60 or 70 (!) years ago, and all these years later you are stalled. Still carrying this grief. Lost. Lost to this baby that hasn’t been a baby for decades, and that “baby” is lost to you.

I think this is a new perspective from which to frame the question for young women who are considering relinquishing children today. Forty years from now, do you think you will still long for your child? How about in 50 years? In 60 years? 70? How do you imagine this might impact your life?

One thought on “Senior Citizen Birthmother

  1. Constance West

    I am a birth mother from that era. I surrendered my daughter January 1967 under extreme duress. I have always regretted this decision and never had any other children. My first marriage, and only marriage, which is a happy one, didn’t take place until I was aged 64. Severe trust issues, among other issues, the usual: self esteem, grief and loss, guilt, shame etc. My daughter found me four years ago, but has given minimum effort towards the relationship. I am ecstatic that she is well adjusted, happy and healthy, so anything beyond that is pure gravy. I continue to communicate in a non-intrusive manner with her and plan to continue doing so. In fairness, she is ultra busy, a full time job and five kids to boot. People do not understand what those times were like. I have yet to meet anyone who even has heard of the BSE, not that you go around asking. To this day it is very difficult to talk about, and I rarely share this information with others. I just don’t need the judgement or the pity. I am happier now than I have ever been actually, and my husband is very very loving.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *